Tuesday, 8 December 2009

How do you react to change?

Have you noticed how upset we get because things change? As human
beings we act like life should always be predictable. And yet we
know it isn't. One of the reasons we get jarred by change is
because we are creatures of habit. Another is that we are emotional
human beings. As logical as we can be at times, it's the feelings
associated with change that we tend to overlook. And it is these
feelings that create the upsets and/or disorientation we sometimes
feel during change.

In addition, there are three other major factors that enter into
the way we deal with change. The first is Personality Filter, the
second is where we are on the Levels of Awareness and the third is
whether or not we have consciously chosen the change we are

Some Types, like Enthusiasts, get bored easily and seek changes
of all kinds to feel fully alive. If they are living in the
Victim/Struggle Level of Awareness, they are more likely to create
unconscious changes that don't serve their highest good. On the
other hand, if they are in the Learning and Experiencing Level of
Awareness or higher, they are probably making more conscious
choices that keep them excited about life but not over extended.

How do you generally react to change?
On the spectrum of actively
seeking change to actively avoiding it, where do you fall? How do
you manage your feelings about change, especially if the change is
not one you chose?

Today notice how much of life is in the process of change and be
for the ever-unfolding life that it represents.

Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation
that you are making progress - IF YOU LOOK FOR IT! It will
only take a few moments and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.

What it is and how to get it

Tracy has been in and out of relationships for so long that she's beginning to think that no one is out there for her. No matter what she tries, and no matter what kind of guy she dates, it always ends badly.

She has blamed herself for her failed relationships because she was so kind or nosy, or forgiving, selfless, clingy. You name it; every single bad thing that happened to the relationship was her fault. Up to now, she couldn't help but wonder what went wrong. She has done everything to make it work but nothing she does seems to make a difference and she still hasn't found "Mr. Right."

At first glance, there is reaily nothing wrong with Tracy, nor with the men she dates. But as you probe into their day to day activities, you realise that Tracy looks okay on the outside, but has very low regard for herself on the inside. She seems like an ordinary girl next door but she's actually suffering from what we call low self esteem.

What is self esteem?

Self esteem is how you regard or value yourself in terms of your:»Job

AccomplishmentsRelationship with your peers and your family

Place in the society

It's actually the image you have of yourself. Having high self esteem means you have a high regard for yourself. Low self esteem means you perceive no value of yourself.

People with high self esteem are usually people who are happy and confident. It's not about bragging about what you have or your accomplishments, but it's taking stock of what kind of person you are.

Self esteem is an important trait or every individual because it influences and sometimes even determines success in your personal life and your career. Having a high self esteem means you respect yourself, and it's most often the reason why others respect you.

A person with high self esteem will do the right thing even if exposed to the wrong set of people. A person who regards themselves highly will not follow what other people are doing because they have their own discernment of what is right and wrong.

Self esteem grows on you, depending on how you were treated as a child. If you were encouraged or praised by your family while growing up, then you'll probably have a high self esteem when you become an adult. However, there are people who may have high self esteem while growing up, but then later developed a low image of themselves because of certain factors.

Factors that lower self esteem

1. Divorce or separation. A child who grew up in the rig

ht environment and with
the right kind of people giving them support and encouragement will have a
high self esteem.

However, an incident like the divorce or separation of their parents could shatter the child's high image of themselves, and they could end up blaming themselves for the separation. They'll then go into a vicious cycle of looking down on themselves and of treating others differently.

2. Physical attributes. A child who is on the chubby side while growing up may
be considered as cute by their family and friends and so the frequent
encouragement and praise will help them develop high self esteem.

However, as they grow older, their environment changes and then they are exposed to the reality that society generally frowns on people who are on the heavy side. This creates confusion and identity crisis which may lead to self pity and the development of a low self image.

3. Rejection.A child who grew up with supp

rtive parents and siblings will most
likely become an adult with a high self esteem. However, constant exposure to
critical people who insult them and criticise them may create a dent in their high
self image. Their comfort zone will no longer exist and there is a possibility that
they will be rejected by other people who are not so kind or who may have very
high standards.

A person's self esteem will serve as their defence and survival kit against the competitive nature of society. Growing up with a high self esteem will be an advantage because a person knows their true value. However, they must keep close contact with the people who really matter to them to maintain their self worth, and avoid people who will try to ruin their self image.

Where does it come from?

How does one get a high self esteem?

Have you ever criticised, even cursed yourself for doing something wrong? Have you tried torturing yourself by doing a monologue of how silly and stupid you are, and how useless you are to society? If you have been doing this on a regular basis, then you may have a low self esteem.

Self esteem is the overall image or value you have of yourself, it's how you look at yourself when you look in the mirror. If you look in the mirror and you see a loser who can do nothing more than commit mistakes, then you may have a very low self image.

A person's self esteem doesn't come from out of the blue. It's not something you were born with, although it's partly determined by the circumstances into which you were born.

Self esteem is acquired by a person early in life, when they are just a child, starting to recognise faces. They gain a little of it whenever they get encouragement from their parents. They gain a little more of it as they become a toddler and their parents give them hugs and kisses and tells them they are the their most precious possession.

As the child becomes a teenager, they have more or less developed a certain degree of self esteem gained from childhood. This degree of self esteem can be developed if as a teenager, they are recognised for threjr little achievements, and given a pat on the back and a comfbrtihg shoulder Whenever they fail.

When this child becomes an adult, their self worth will be determined by their experiences growing up and the way they were treated by family and friends. A high self esteem can serve as their arsenal whenever confronted by damaging criticisms and negative feedbacks.

Effects of low self esteem

People who grew up in a very critical environment, where achievements are rarely praised and where faults are given more emphasis will most likely have a very low self esteem. Among the effects of a low self esteem are:

1. It can cause anxiety and depression. A personwith a low self esteem is always concerned about pleasing other people. The more they try to make other people happy, the more they become depressed and unsure of themselves. And when they become unsure of themselves, they will take this as a negative

attribute, leading to a lesser self worth. It goes on until they do not have a clear view of themselves as a person.

A low self esteem can result in a setback in a person's performance in school or
their career goals. A person who thinks less of themselves will more likely have
very low grades. If already working, a person with low self esteem will
experience some difficulty in their career as they could not perform their
ordinary responsibilities well.

Lack of self esteem can create tension in a person's relationship with other
people. Because they look down on themselves too much, this person cannot
maintain a healthy relationship. They think they are lower than anybody and are
not worth loving.

Low self esteem can lead to dependency problems. Many people who have
very low regard for themselves get into drugs because they look at substance
abuse as the only way to confirm their existence. Others become alcoholics,
opting to become intoxicated rather than confront the difficulty of facing one's

People with low self esteem or low self worth have very little or no self confidence at all. A single mistake, no matter how small, will always be blown out of proportion. A person with low self esteem will always blame themselves for anything that happens regardless of the factors involved in the incident.

A person who has low self esteem is fragile and can be easily influenced by people who take advantage of other people's frailty. While self esteem has its roots in a person's childhood there is still a chance to develop the self worth of adults who treat themselves as lesser mortals. However, it will take an extra effort and determination, as well as a good support group.

The signs of healthy self esteem

What are the signs of a healthy self-esteem? Here are some them: •

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