6. Relationships (play the game)
It's a fact that 85% of your happiness in life is determined by your ability to get along well with other people.
There's a saying that most of your problems in life will come on two legs and talk back. Whether we like them or not, people make the world go round. And your ability to relate, communicate and negotiate will empower you as you make your way along in the world.
Relationships are complex, frustrating and often critical to our success. Perhaps the best way to get the most out of all the relationships you have is to view them as a game. By doing this you can begin to become more skilled as a player, instead of simply bumbling along not knowing how to relate to people.
There are several powerful 'games' you can play and each of them will greatly improve your ability to get along with people.
Game # 1: The Most important Person.
Each person views the world through their own eyes. To them, the world is about them and their experiences. The average person (including you and I) spends approximately 95% of their time thinking about themselves.
For this reason, playing this game is a powerful attention grabber. Instead of being like everyone else and simply thinking of yourself as most important; think of other people as most important. Treat them with respect, admiration and courtesy. Take time listen to their ideas, their feelings, even their advice.
By doing this you will come into alignment with their deep-held belief that they are most important. You will also make a startling impression on the other person. Soon enough, the person will become so impressed with you that they will begin liking you. And once a person likes you, everything becomes easier for both parties.
Game #2: Shut up!
In this game you practice the art of saying as little as possible while holding a conversation with another person. The more you can be quiet, the more the other person will be able to talk. See how much you can not say. Use facial expressions, gestures, and short succinct answers to keep yourself out of the conversation as often as possible. When the person finishes what they are saying, ask them another question to get them talking again.
Doing this helps you build the discipline of listening. Most people are incredibly poor listeners. Most of us -if truth be told- are just waiting for our chance to talk. By playing this game, you'll soon find more and more people are keen to talk to you. They will feel like you actually care about what they have to say and will like you for it.
Game # 3: Random Acts of Kindness
This game is a powerful way to build your self-esteem and your reputation with other people. The idea is that you give people small doses of kindness -a smile, a compliment, assistance, or a gift - when they least expect it. By doing this you instantly create a bond with the other person, and they will also be more inclined to help you.
Play this game whenever you see the opportunity. The more you do it, the more you will find your network, and your success growing.
Game # 4: .Stop Competing
Often in life we feel like we are competing for everything. We race the traffic to work, try to beat co-workers for promotions, and push our company ahead of our competitors. Sometimes this competitive spirit can work its way into our conversations and relations with other people, often without us even realising.
Do you often feel the need to tell somebody when they are wrong?
Do you always have to top another person stories with you amazing anecdotes?
From now on, whenever you feel yourself 'competing' in your conversations, decide to stop it. Instead, let the other person express their opinions and stories and graciously listen. By doing this you reduce the urge the other person has to beat you at the conversation game. And you might actually make a friend...
Game # 5: Don’t take it Personally
How often do you feel angry or offended by the words, actions and thoughtlessness of others? Well here's a simple solution for all the bad feelings: stop taking things personally.
Perhaps you haven't noticed, but people do things for their own reasons, not yours. Anytime somebody does something that seems to be an attack against you, it's very likely they don't mean it to be. In fact it's likely you're not even a consideration in their mind. Most people are so consumed in their lives and their problems that they don't realise that they are causing you grief or inconvenience.
For this reason it makes sense not to get all worked up about things people do or say to you. The only person who suffers from it is you. Resolve from now on to play the game of not taking it personally - no matter what the situation or the circumstance.
TO BE CONTINUED….
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